


aspects of love

by dontgotothenetherworld



Category: Jagged Little Pill - Morissette & Ballard/Morissette/Cody
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontgotothenetherworld/pseuds/dontgotothenetherworld
Summary: an series of fics about reader and their best friend phoenix. from my tumblr of the same username, posted feb. 23, 2020, and mar. 12, 2020. uncompleted
Relationships: phoenix/ reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> would you be willing to write a phoenix x reader? maybe where like the reader is his best friend and is trying to help him become comfortable telling someone he loves them? and either it turns out it’s her he wanted to tell or it was just in general wanting to be comfortable for it in the future but he realizes he loves her?  
> anon, this is genius.
> 
> from the pronouns you used, i’m assuming you want a fem reader, but i don’t see that impacting the story at all, and i like writing with a gender neutral reader unless i hc the character i’m writing for as non m-spec. i haven’t really decided what orientation i hc phoenix as, so we’re just going to go with a gender neutral reader. i hope you don’t mind.
> 
> just btw in case it isn’t obvious, reader is sleeping over at phoenix’s house :)
> 
> 739 words
> 
> cw: gnreader.

”i don’t know man, language is just really weird.” you tossed a baseball, stolen from phoenix’s bedside table, up in the air above your face.  
phoenix grabbed the ball from midair, and placed it back in it’s spot. you frowned.  
”i know, like sometimes i just really wish i could express concepts. like, i don’t want to say words, i just want to say what i mean.”  
you glanced at the clock. 2:21 am.  
”that would make telling people you love them a lot easier.” you mused.  
”especially with insecure people.” responded phoenix.  
you flipped over onto your stomach, “exactly! that way their brain would stop circling away from the other person’s real feelings. i mean, not like i do that.” you let out a light laugh.  
phoenix looked meaningfully at you. “i-”  
”i know you love me, ya idiot.” you playfully hit his arm.  
phoenix laughed. “always eloquent, y/n.”  
”oo, bringing out the fancy words, are we?”  
”must they be considered fancy words if they’re just not the words we normally use? what if these “fancy words” are more accurate in portraying our meaning?”  
you thought it over, “yes. even though they make more sense, they make you sound pretentious. and, no one knows what the fuck some of them mean.”  
phoenix opened his mouth to respond.  
”and if they just look at the dictionary definition, it’s not as meaningful. in order to have a sentiment achieve it’s most… meaningfulness-”  
”profoundness?”  
”yes, profoundness, the person hearing it needs to already know and have encountered the words on their own.”  
phoenix chuckled, “you say that, even though some people would need a dictionary open next to them to figure out how they can’t figure out what you’re saying.”  
you squinted your eyes at your friend. “touche. but you’re not some people. i know you have those big brain vocabulary skills, so if you aren’t able to understand what i’m saying… loser.”  
phoenix laughed again. “but what i was really trying to say, was,” phoenix cleared his throat, “say you’re in love with someone. like, romantic love, not just platonic, and you want to tell them how in love you are, how do you tell them? do you use your big brain vocabulary and hope they get it, or do you use the simpler but overused ones?” phoenix talked with his hands, and as tired as you were, you kept getting distracted.  
”so what you’re saying here,” you jumped up, “is that you have a crush.” you gasped, “phoenix has a crush!” you stood on phoenix’s bed, towering over him, as if you were dangling this newfound information over his head.  
”no!” phoenix tried to conceal his face. “no, i do not have a crush.” he caught your disbelieving eyes. “okay, maybe.”  
you squinted at him again.  
”fine, yes. i have a crush.”  
you dropped down next to phoenix, and began assaulting him with questions. “what are they like? are they cute? are they single? do you have a chance with them? be honest with me, how smart are they?”  
phoenix gave you an odd look.  
”what? if they aren’t that smart, you gotta go overused. if they, like, read a lot and stuff, go with the weird words.”  
”those two aren’t mutually exclusive.”  
you huffed, “but you get my point. is it anyone i know?”   
phoenix wouldn’t look you in the eyes. his face was flushed, and he looked uncomfortable. sensing this, you backed away from him. “don’t expect this to be the end of this conversation. we’ll continue it later.” you yawned and fell back into a pillow.  
”thanks, y/n.” he gave you one of his classic warm smiles. better than a chocolate cookie, fresh out of the oven, you always though. although you wouldn’t flatter him by telling him that.   
”if it’s a crush, why do you want to tell them that you love them?” you asked sleepily, your eyes beginning to droop.  
phoenix pulled a blanket over you. “because it used to be a crush. it’s turned into a full pulverization.” he whispered.  
”don’t romanticize romance by using violent words, it just reinforces the idea that emotional and physical pain inflicted by a lover is an acceptable and normal part of a relationship, even though it’s not.” your eyelids gave up and closed all the way.  
phoenix chuckled. you thought you heard him say something else, but you couldn’t quite make it out.


	2. but you're always smiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing stuff for phoenix just makes me smile, so of course i’ve gotta write more.
> 
> 715 words
> 
> cw: gnreader.

you had been ruminating on what phoenix had said since he said it last week. it sort of killed you that you didn’t know who he was crushing on, but he didn’t feel like telling you, so you had to respect that.  
”what’s the difference between romantic and platonic love?” you asked.  
”with romantic love, you want to make out with that person.” said phoenix, thoughtlessly.  
”wouldn’t that be more of a sexual love. is there such thing as sexual love, or is it just sexual attraction? and anyway, are you trying to tell me you wouldn’t make out with the homies? that’d be platonic.”  
phoenix wheezed, “making out is platonic?”  
”it can be.” you said blankly.  
”with the homies it is?”  
”everything’s platonic with the homies. until you specify that it’s not.”  
”now you’re just confusing me.” said phoenix.  
”that’s the aim of the game, baby. now answer my question; what’s the difference?”  
phoenix fell back. he fixed his eyes on the ceiling, this time at your house, as he thought.  
you laid down as well, looking at where phoenix’s eyes were pointed. nothing of particular interest was there, so you sat back up.  
”the difference, is a feeling.” phoenix said finally.  
”what would that feeling be, mr. wise guy?” you teased.  
”it’s an indescribable feeling that is slightly different for everyone.”  
you rolled your eyes. “not helpful. i thought you would be knowledgeable about this stuff, but i guess i’ve been proven wrong.” you sighed.  
”why? does y/n have a crush?” phoenix teased.  
”uh no.” you said, trying to convince yourself, “i’m just annoying and wanted to see what your answer would be.”  
”why? are you still trying to figure out who i like?”  
”obviously. but that was no help.” you grabbed a pad of sticky notes and a pen from your bedside table. “what color eyes do you prefer?”  
”hmmm…all eye colors are pretty, but i’d have to say glowing red.”  
you nodded and wrote it down. “and preferred height? taller than you, shorter, same height…?”  
”definitely taller. someone about twelve feet tall would be best.”  
”and hair color?”  
”black.”  
”phoenix,” you asked, dead serious, “are you describing the mothman?”  
”mothman’s just so sexy, y’know?” phoenix tried to hold character, but ended up laughing.  
you held your hand to your temple, slowly shaking your head. “you…. you’re so dumb.”  
phoenix considered it, “being attracted to mothman does not make me dumb! it shows i have taste!”  
”yeah, i could get the same taste by licking the underside of a seat at a carnival, what’s your point?”  
”that’s just offensive to mothman. don’t slander my spouse like that.” he said, defensive.  
you threw your hands in the air, “you’re married now? when was your wedding? why was i not your best man?”  
phoenix chuckled at your exaggerated outrage.  
you threw your hands up again. “disgusting.”  
you flopped onto your stomach, on the floor. phoenix carefully lowered himself down next to you.  
”do you really want to know about my crush?” he asked softly, in the tone of voice that you adored. when he spoke like that, you just wanted to listen to him for hours. you had considered forcing him to do a podcast with you, just so you could go back and listen to his voice, but then you realized that meant you’d have to listen to your voice too, so you never mentioned it.  
”i mean, yeah. but like, only tell me if you want to. i’ll be able to live just fine if you don’t.  
”i want to tell you.”  
”then go ahead.”  
”well, they’re really, really smart. they sometimes make me feel kinda dumb.”  
”you’re a genius, but go off.”  
”they always know how to make me smile. with a joke, or reassuring me, i just feel happy being around them.”  
”but you’re always smiling.”  
”they are one of the most thoughtful people i know. they’re somehow able to remember all the little things that i mention.”  
”is the goal of this to make me fall in love with your crush? because they sound freaking perfect.”  
”and i think you’re really beautiful.” phoenix turned to you. he gazed into your eyes, unwavering.  
your heart skipped a beat, “wh- oh.” he meant you.  
phoenix had a crush on you.


End file.
